Pimps Need Cadillacs Too

I'm a car fan.  More importantly, I'm a Dodge fan.  Especially the more recent offerings of the Charger and the Challenger.  Being an admirer of the Brothers Dodge, I keep up with the company's doings and recently, they've begun to air commercials for their latest small car, the Dart.

Now, much like the Charger and the Challenger, this isn't the first iteration of the Dodge Dart.  A really good friend of mine drove one in college that looked like this...

The corners could cut glass.  We used them to cut church cheese.

This is what the new one looks like...

There's no way you can convince me that this would not look better in brown with a tan canvas top.

Now, I have zero problems with Dodge trying to stir up some nostalgia for to generate sales.  What I do take issue with is the new commercial.  I won't make you watch the whole thing, just get to the 20 second mark.



At that 20 second mark we get this...

Look at that, then look at this...

Again, look at the concept and look at what we ended up with.

Why are car companies so proud to show us what we could have had?  If a woman sexted me a pic of her in a mini skirt and a tube top, then she showed up at my door in an oversized wool turtleneck and thick ass corduroys in June, I am supposed to be happy about this?

Lamenting over what could have been for the new Dart, led me to check out other concepts and I came across this...

This is the Cadillac Ciel, pronounced C-L.  All I have to say is why?

Why the hell is this not on the market?  Every pimp, rock star, hip hop mogul, and televangelist would want this car!

What is not pictured, are the cup holders especially made for hot sauce and tattoo needles.

It makes me sad to know that Floyd Mayweather will never have the opportunity to own this car. I truly believe the thoughts and dreams of having someone driving him around in it, only to forget about it in a liquor store parking lot, would get him through those long prison nights.

But the C-L will probably never even make it to market.  And even if it did, after the "committees" got through with it, it would end up looking like this...

Two up.